How soon is too soon to start dating after having a baby
Giving birth to my baby was also giving birth to my mama bear instincts.
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They tell you about them but wow! You really feel an intense urge to protect this little one. It really bothered me — and this is why I never ask to hold a baby now. As you can imagine I was a little a lot! In the first months of her life, things were so crazy and we were so tired neither of us cared about a date night. But sometime around the time she turned 4 months my husband started asking me about it and it terrified me. Here I had a baby that nursed every hour and was very demanding.
One night we sat and had a very honest conversation about this. We both agreed that our baby is only this little once and this needy once and that we would have a real date night once we both felt ready. In the meantime, we compromised with having date nights at home, after she was asleep. At first they were short but they got longer and longer as she started sleeping more without waking up. At around 6 months we had our first early dinner date together with my parents in the shopping center next to us haha!
This might surprise a lot of people but we are happy with this decision. Our relationship is not the same as before, it is better and it is stronger. We now enjoy our company so much more and we have learned to enjoy it in many hidden moments during the day.
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This has made me love my husband so much more and I hope he feels the same. So, when is the right time to have your first date after having a baby? For some it will come a few weeks after the baby is born and for other it will come a few years later. And that is OK.
When should you have your first date after having a baby? – Mama Instincts
So it's best if you move on to a different person too. And I don't know why anyone would feel "guilty" for moving on from a detached BD to someone else if BD isn't with you, and especially if BD has moved on to someone else himself. Sounds like some of you are giving too much credit to a BD who isn't worth a thought let alone a thoughtful consideration. I say that because I used to worry the same way not just about a "BD" but about exes or guys in general but then later with maturity realized that the ex doesn't care about me, so it's a waste to even consider him.
He'd claimed he'd wanted me back and that I should "wait" for him, which was extremely ridiculous because he himself had been dating too. He was being a liar and a hypocrite because he liked the idea of keeping his child's mother pure and waiting for him. In fact, now I've not only moved on to someone else but am now expecting a child by that new someone else.
Haven't told many people yet since I'm early on but I do know that when he finds out, my ex will probably act upset and crybabyish about it, or at least put on an act just to rain on my parade. Not falling for it. If I cared so much what an EX thought of me, I would still be a single mom. I do care way too much about someone who doesn't care enough for me. He's been very present for all the baby's appointments, but who knows what it'll be like once the baby is actually here. Thanks for saying it like it is.. I actually really appreciate it..
All while still "working on things" with me.
How soon to start dating after separation?
He's already talking to the other girl again while also trying to convince me to be with him. If I were to start dating he wouldn't take it well, but I honestly don't care! Thank you amen hallelujah! I'm 30 weeks pregnant. I plan to start dating whenever I want to. I know it will be after my baby is here.
My focus will be on her but a little dating when I have the time will be fine. I haven't read you're other posts, I haven't been on here much since lo was born, but I was in a similar situation. My ex and I were together for 3yrs, even lived together and i found out at 6mo pregnant he was still married and she was due a few days after me. I stopped being intimate with him but still tried to hold on to the hope he would be with me and be a father to his son.
He kept telling me he loved me He wasn't there for birth and didn't come to see his son until he was 2 weeks. Then he'd stop by for an hr or 2 when he could during work. Now at 5 months old I finally told him to not bother contacting me until he wants to have a relationship with his son. He kept making comments about me finding someone else trying to make me feel bad like i wasn't waiting, but for what! If he hadn't left in 3yrs or when I was pregnant or after seeing our son I finally realized nothing would change.